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Miscarriage, Pregnancy

“I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

After our first miscarriage, nobody suggested that we stop trying for a baby. After our second, people encouraged us to keep going - after all, you can only have so much bad luck. Now we’ve had a third, I have noticed a subtle but very definite shift in people’s attitudes.  “Maybe you should wait for… Continue reading “I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

My second miscarriage was completely different to my first and third for a number of reasons, not least because nobody knew where the pregnancy actually was. Pregnancy of unknown location (PUL) is a term used to describe pregnancies when hcg levels are raised but an ultrasound scan doesn’t show anything in your uterus or Fallopian… Continue reading Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

Miscarriage

The blame game

‘What did I do wrong?’ must be one of the most common questions a woman asks herself when she finds out she’s having a miscarriage. And, of course, the answer is usually ‘nothing’. It’s just not easy to accept when you’re convinced it’s your fault.  I remember when I had my first missed miscarriage (when… Continue reading The blame game

Miscarriage

Miscarriage: the importance (and beauty) of female support

Miscarriage can be the darkest of places.  Initially, you may have to work your way through the hall of horrors when you find out your pregnancy has failed. Fear, adrenaline and a desire to get as far away as possible take over. You might make a temporary stop at the parlour of pain when your body… Continue reading Miscarriage: the importance (and beauty) of female support

Miscarriage

Miscarriage…naturally

On Monday 25 June 2018, a date that will be forever etched in my brain, me and my husband returned home with heavy hearts, after learning our already much-loved baby was no longer alive.  We’d had an ultrasound scan that day, as I’d had some brown spotting and minor cramping the day before. We’d both… Continue reading Miscarriage…naturally

Miscarriage

“I’m sorry, I can’t find a heartbeat”

Scan 1 With a long wait ahead before seeing a midwife for our first pregnancy's booking appointment, I was anxious for 'proof' that I was actually pregnant. So I managed to persuade my husband that we should book in for an early scan at a clinic that we had been recommended by friends. I would… Continue reading “I’m sorry, I can’t find a heartbeat”

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

In the blink of an eye…

2017 was, without doubt, the best year of my life. I was 38 years old and feeling that my life-proper was about to begin. I was overjoyed to marry the man who brightens my life every day. We moved into the first house we had chosen together (rented for now, but nonetheless...ours). Our families came… Continue reading In the blink of an eye…