I’ll be starting IVF when my next period arrives. I’ve been impatient to get to this stage, so why aren’t I more excited now I’m here? Basically, I think it comes down to control – or a lack of it. I am someone who uses control to calm myself, to quiet the anxiety that… Continue reading Preparing for IVF: A control freak’s plan
Tag: trying to conceive
Miscarriage #4: time to stop trying?
Finding out about our fourth miscarriage - our third missed miscarriage - felt like reliving a particularly bad dream. I hoped we’d never hear the words ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’ again, but there was the sonographer, going through the now-familiar routine of patting my knee while breaking the bad news. Me and my husband… Continue reading Miscarriage #4: time to stop trying?
Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss
Trying to conceive the first time Our first pregnancy happened after 3 months of trying. Three months which seemed endless at the time, but were actually blissfully short now I look back with the benefit of hindsight. At that early stage of trying to conceive, I was waiting, full of anticipation and expectation, to see… Continue reading Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss
Slave to the cycle
Trying to conceive. Sounds so innocuous, doesn’t it, when you say it quickly? But when you’re living it month after month, it has a tendency to take over your life. And not in a good way. My cycle follows an exact pattern every month: Cycle Day 1 (CD1) My period starts: cue disappointment, tears and… Continue reading Slave to the cycle
“I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying
After our first miscarriage, nobody suggested that we stop trying for a baby. After our second, people encouraged us to keep going - after all, you can only have so much bad luck. Now we’ve had a third, I have noticed a subtle but very definite shift in people’s attitudes. “Maybe you should wait for… Continue reading “I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying