Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Miscarriage #4: time to stop trying?

Finding out about our fourth miscarriage - our third missed miscarriage - felt like reliving a particularly bad dream. I hoped we’d never hear the words ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’ again, but there was the sonographer, going through the now-familiar routine of patting my knee while breaking the bad news. Me and my husband… Continue reading Miscarriage #4: time to stop trying?

infertility, IVF, Miscarriage

Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?

You know when it’s time to buy a new sofa? You think about it for a while, make the decision, then you go out and buy it. Pretty simple.  I also thought it would work like that with starting a family. Think about it for a while, make the decision, get pregnant. Boom.   Except for… Continue reading Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?

mental health, Miscarriage

Mental health after miscarriage: my thoughts

Last week, on the day the news story broke about miscarriage causing PTSD, depression and anxiety (using this published paper as evidence), I was asked by Yahoo Style UK to share my thoughts. Their questions and my responses are below and the article can be viewed here.  I also wrote a blog post on my… Continue reading Mental health after miscarriage: my thoughts

Body image, infertility, IVF, Miscarriage

Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness

During my three miscarriages, between June 2018 and May 2019, I had watched my weight steadily climb. A combination of hormones and distress, leading to comfort eating, left me seeing numbers on the scale bigger than I’d ever seen before. And I hated it. But I also struggled to do anything about it.  It’s a… Continue reading Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness

IVF, Miscarriage

Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

If my first pregnancy had been successful, we’d have an eleven month-old baby now. If the second had worked out, we’d have an eight month-old. If the third had gone to term, we’d have a newborn baby. But instead, me and my husband are having another Christmas as a family of two.  Don’t get me… Continue reading Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

Miscarriage

Connecting with grief: my baby loss retreat experience

Last weekend, I went on a baby loss retreat. I’d decided to go for a number of reasons (which you can read more about here). Now I’m sharing how it went, what I found useful and whether I’d recommend it to other women who’ve been through miscarriage or baby loss.   Day One I arrived at… Continue reading Connecting with grief: my baby loss retreat experience

Miscarriage

Grieving miscarriage: anticipation before a baby loss retreat…

A couple of months ago, I got a DM from someone on Twitter telling me about a baby loss retreat. She had seen some of my posts online and thought I may benefit from the help it could provide. Cue me sending a tentative email to the organiser and within a week, I was signed… Continue reading Grieving miscarriage: anticipation before a baby loss retreat…

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Feeling the dread: pregnancy announcements after loss

There’s one thing that has happened to me since I’ve experienced pregnancy loss. Dread of other people’s pregnancy announcements.  They come out of the blue. I can be scrolling through social media mindlessly when *wallop* I’ll see a 12 week ultrasound scan. Or *smack* I see a photo of the happy couple, man gently cupping… Continue reading Feeling the dread: pregnancy announcements after loss

IVF, Miscarriage, Pregnancy

To IVF or not to IVF?

After two miscarriages, at the age of 39 I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at my local hospital.  9 months, an array of blood tests, multiple scans and another miscarriage later, I finally got to meet with a clinic consultant. I was told that my blood test results had come back normal, so… Continue reading To IVF or not to IVF?

Miscarriage

Surgical management of miscarriage

After learning our third pregnancy had failed and our already beloved baby had died at 9 weeks gestation, me and my husband had opted for surgical management of the miscarriage.  After a natural first miscarriage and the second, an extended loss of a pregnancy of unknown location, this time I didn’t want to be aware… Continue reading Surgical management of miscarriage