Losing pregnancies, finding hope
For those of you who know my story, you know how difficult the last three years have been, both for me and for my husband. Getting married in June 2017, we had no idea of the difficulties we’d face in bringing a child into our family. The initial excitement of our first pregnancy was soon… Continue reading Forging a new path: moving forward childless
IVF was going to be a last chance saloon for me and my husband. We’d already had four miscarriages in 2.5 years and although we knew the odds of IVF working were low - around 15% according to our consultant - we also knew we couldn’t give up without at least having tried. Our… Continue reading An IVF diary: short protocol
I’ll be starting IVF when my next period arrives. I’ve been impatient to get to this stage, so why aren’t I more excited now I’m here? Basically, I think it comes down to control – or a lack of it. I am someone who uses control to calm myself, to quiet the anxiety that… Continue reading Preparing for IVF: A control freak’s plan
The last few weeks have been pretty eventful in fertility terms. Less than a month ago, I was in hospital having surgical removal of our fourth miscarriage. Since then, we’ve had our genetic testing results and an IVF consultation – both things we were expecting a much longer wait for. Genetic testing of the ‘products… Continue reading Genetic testing results and returning to IVF
Today marks the end of this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week, an event originating in the States, but which involves people of all nationalities via social media. And it goes to show just how distracted I’ve been that I’ve only just realised. This time last year, I was pregnant, and just about to find out… Continue reading The IVF letter you don’t want to receive during COVID-19
COVID-19 has changed life immeasurably over the last 6 weeks. First reported in China, it wasn’t long before cases of coronavirus were being reported more widely around the world. The virus was drawing closer, gaining a firm grip country by country, continent by continent. Eventually labelled a pandemic by WHO, we soon understood that coronavirus… Continue reading COVID-19 and cancelled IVF
Between November 2019 and February 2020, life was a cycle of gym visits and healthy eating. There was no alcohol, infrequent eating out and our house was pretty much a chocolate free zone. I’ve never had such an un-indulgent Christmas or seen myself visiting the gym 4 times a week so consistently. Self control and… Continue reading One more rung up the IVF ladder
You know when it’s time to buy a new sofa? You think about it for a while, make the decision, then you go out and buy it. Pretty simple. I also thought it would work like that with starting a family. Think about it for a while, make the decision, get pregnant. Boom. Except for… Continue reading Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?
During my three miscarriages, between June 2018 and May 2019, I had watched my weight steadily climb. A combination of hormones and distress, leading to comfort eating, left me seeing numbers on the scale bigger than I’d ever seen before. And I hated it. But I also struggled to do anything about it. It’s a… Continue reading Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness
If my first pregnancy had been successful, we’d have an eleven month-old baby now. If the second had worked out, we’d have an eight month-old. If the third had gone to term, we’d have a newborn baby. But instead, me and my husband are having another Christmas as a family of two. Don’t get me… Continue reading Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief
Just another miscarriage 