IVF, mental health

Preparing for IVF: A control freak’s plan

I’ll be starting IVF when my next period arrives. I’ve been impatient to get to this stage, so why aren’t I more excited now I’m here?   Basically, I think it comes down to control – or a lack of it. I am someone who uses control to calm myself, to quiet the anxiety that… Continue reading Preparing for IVF: A control freak’s plan

IVF, Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Genetic testing results and returning to IVF

The last few weeks have been pretty eventful in fertility terms. Less than a month ago, I was in hospital having surgical removal of our fourth miscarriage. Since then, we’ve had our genetic testing results and an IVF consultation – both things we were expecting a much longer wait for. Genetic testing of the ‘products… Continue reading Genetic testing results and returning to IVF

infertility, IVF

The IVF letter you don’t want to receive during COVID-19

Today marks the end of this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week, an event originating in the States, but which involves people of all nationalities via social media. And it goes to show just how distracted I’ve been that I’ve only just realised. This time last year, I was pregnant, and just about to find out… Continue reading The IVF letter you don’t want to receive during COVID-19

infertility, IVF

COVID-19 and cancelled IVF

COVID-19 has changed life immeasurably over the last 6 weeks. First reported in China, it wasn’t long before cases of coronavirus were being reported more widely around the world. The virus was drawing closer, gaining a firm grip country by country, continent by continent. Eventually labelled a pandemic by WHO, we soon understood that coronavirus… Continue reading COVID-19 and cancelled IVF

infertility, IVF

One more rung up the IVF ladder

Between November 2019 and February 2020, life was a cycle of gym visits and healthy eating. There was no alcohol, infrequent eating out and our house was pretty much a chocolate free zone. I’ve never had such an un-indulgent Christmas or seen myself visiting the gym 4 times a week so consistently. Self control and… Continue reading One more rung up the IVF ladder

infertility, IVF, Miscarriage

Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?

You know when it’s time to buy a new sofa? You think about it for a while, make the decision, then you go out and buy it. Pretty simple.  I also thought it would work like that with starting a family. Think about it for a while, make the decision, get pregnant. Boom.   Except for… Continue reading Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?

Body image, infertility, IVF, Miscarriage

Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness

During my three miscarriages, between June 2018 and May 2019, I had watched my weight steadily climb. A combination of hormones and distress, leading to comfort eating, left me seeing numbers on the scale bigger than I’d ever seen before. And I hated it. But I also struggled to do anything about it.  It’s a… Continue reading Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness

IVF, Miscarriage

Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

If my first pregnancy had been successful, we’d have an eleven month-old baby now. If the second had worked out, we’d have an eight month-old. If the third had gone to term, we’d have a newborn baby. But instead, me and my husband are having another Christmas as a family of two.  Don’t get me… Continue reading Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

infertility, IVF, Pregnancy

Surprise! You’re infertile

Back at the start of November, me and my husband went for our baseline fertility tests. We’d been referred to the Reproductive Medicine clinic for further investigation, and potentially IVF, after suffering our third miscarriage.  We were expecting a long wait, but our appointment with the consultant ended up being only 4 weeks after our… Continue reading Surprise! You’re infertile

IVF, Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Desperation and Dr Google

I’ve just found out that my uterine lining is too thin to sustain a pregnancy. This is upsetting in itself, but what I’m really struggling with is...what do I do now?  Prior to this, I’ve not had any specific issues I’ve known about - apart from the miscarriages of course - so this is new… Continue reading Desperation and Dr Google