The last few weeks have been pretty eventful in fertility terms. Less than a month ago, I was in hospital having surgical removal of our fourth miscarriage. Since then, we’ve had our genetic testing results and an IVF consultation – both things we were expecting a much longer wait for. Genetic testing of the ‘products… Continue reading Genetic testing results and returning to IVF
After four pregnancy losses, you’d think I’d know what to expect in the days and weeks after miscarriage. But I don't, because each time I’ve found myself in this unenviable position, the aftermath has been different. Miscarriage One After miscarriage #1 came devastation. Not only in an emotional sense, but also the physical changes as… Continue reading The aftermath of loss: what comes after the miscarriage?
Finding out about our fourth miscarriage - our third missed miscarriage - felt like reliving a particularly bad dream. I hoped we’d never hear the words ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’ again, but there was the sonographer, going through the now-familiar routine of patting my knee while breaking the bad news. Me and my husband… Continue reading Miscarriage #4: time to stop trying?
I look at the pregnancy test, taken only to confirm what I already know - another month without getting pregnant. But hang on a minute, what’s that? I can see a faint greyish smudge on my cheapie pregnancy test strip, I’m sure of it. I’ve already thrown my pee away, so I can’t test again… Continue reading Pregnant after loss…again
Today marks the end of this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week, an event originating in the States, but which involves people of all nationalities via social media. And it goes to show just how distracted I’ve been that I’ve only just realised. This time last year, I was pregnant, and just about to find out… Continue reading The IVF letter you don’t want to receive during COVID-19
COVID-19 has changed life immeasurably over the last 6 weeks. First reported in China, it wasn’t long before cases of coronavirus were being reported more widely around the world. The virus was drawing closer, gaining a firm grip country by country, continent by continent. Eventually labelled a pandemic by WHO, we soon understood that coronavirus… Continue reading COVID-19 and cancelled IVF
Between November 2019 and February 2020, life was a cycle of gym visits and healthy eating. There was no alcohol, infrequent eating out and our house was pretty much a chocolate free zone. I’ve never had such an un-indulgent Christmas or seen myself visiting the gym 4 times a week so consistently. Self control and… Continue reading One more rung up the IVF ladder
You know when it’s time to buy a new sofa? You think about it for a while, make the decision, then you go out and buy it. Pretty simple. I also thought it would work like that with starting a family. Think about it for a while, make the decision, get pregnant. Boom. Except for… Continue reading Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?
Last week, on the day the news story broke about miscarriage causing PTSD, depression and anxiety (using this published paper as evidence), I was asked by Yahoo Style UK to share my thoughts. Their questions and my responses are below and the article can be viewed here. I also wrote a blog post on my… Continue reading Mental health after miscarriage: my thoughts
During my three miscarriages, between June 2018 and May 2019, I had watched my weight steadily climb. A combination of hormones and distress, leading to comfort eating, left me seeing numbers on the scale bigger than I’d ever seen before. And I hated it. But I also struggled to do anything about it. It’s a… Continue reading Weighing heavy: obesity, infertility and self-kindness