IVF, Miscarriage

Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

If my first pregnancy had been successful, we’d have an eleven month-old baby now. If the second had worked out, we’d have an eight month-old. If the third had gone to term, we’d have a newborn baby. But instead, me and my husband are having another Christmas as a family of two.  Don’t get me… Continue reading Welcoming in change: overcoming a year of grief

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Feeling the dread: pregnancy announcements after loss

There’s one thing that has happened to me since I’ve experienced pregnancy loss. Dread of other people’s pregnancy announcements.  They come out of the blue. I can be scrolling through social media mindlessly when *wallop* I’ll see a 12 week ultrasound scan. Or *smack* I see a photo of the happy couple, man gently cupping… Continue reading Feeling the dread: pregnancy announcements after loss

IVF, Miscarriage, Pregnancy

To IVF or not to IVF?

After two miscarriages, at the age of 39 I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at my local hospital.  9 months, an array of blood tests, multiple scans and another miscarriage later, I finally got to meet with a clinic consultant. I was told that my blood test results had come back normal, so… Continue reading To IVF or not to IVF?

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Third pregnancy, third miscarriage: back to square one

By the time I got pregnant for the third time, my feelings about conceiving had completely changed.  Gone was the instant joy, replaced instead with a confusion of emotions, muted relief that I’d managed to get pregnant and fear that something would go wrong. Gone was the assumption of a carefree pregnancy, replaced instead with… Continue reading Third pregnancy, third miscarriage: back to square one

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss

Trying to conceive the first time Our first pregnancy happened after 3 months of trying. Three months which seemed endless at the time, but were actually blissfully short now I look back with the benefit of hindsight.  At that early stage of trying to conceive, I was waiting, full of anticipation and expectation, to see… Continue reading Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

“I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

After our first miscarriage, nobody suggested that we stop trying for a baby. After our second, people encouraged us to keep going - after all, you can only have so much bad luck. Now we’ve had a third, I have noticed a subtle but very definite shift in people’s attitudes.  “Maybe you should wait for… Continue reading “I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

My second miscarriage was completely different to my first and third for a number of reasons, not least because nobody knew where the pregnancy actually was. Pregnancy of unknown location (PUL) is a term used to describe pregnancies when hcg levels are raised but an ultrasound scan doesn’t show anything in your uterus or Fallopian… Continue reading Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

Miscarriage

Miscarriage…naturally

On Monday 25 June 2018, a date that will be forever etched in my brain, me and my husband returned home with heavy hearts, after learning our already much-loved baby was no longer alive.  We’d had an ultrasound scan that day, as I’d had some brown spotting and minor cramping the day before. We’d both… Continue reading Miscarriage…naturally