You know when it’s time to buy a new sofa? You think about it for a while, make the decision, then you go out and buy it. Pretty simple. I also thought it would work like that with starting a family. Think about it for a while, make the decision, get pregnant. Boom. Except for… Continue reading Recurrent miscarriage -> Infertility -> IVF -> Baby?
There’s one thing that has happened to me since I’ve experienced pregnancy loss. Dread of other people’s pregnancy announcements. They come out of the blue. I can be scrolling through social media mindlessly when *wallop* I’ll see a 12 week ultrasound scan. Or *smack* I see a photo of the happy couple, man gently cupping… Continue reading Feeling the dread: pregnancy announcements after loss
After two miscarriages, at the age of 39 I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at my local hospital. 9 months, an array of blood tests, multiple scans and another miscarriage later, I finally got to meet with a clinic consultant. I was told that my blood test results had come back normal, so… Continue reading To IVF or not to IVF?
After learning our third pregnancy had failed and our already beloved baby had died at 9 weeks gestation, me and my husband had opted for surgical management of the miscarriage. After a natural first miscarriage and the second, an extended loss of a pregnancy of unknown location, this time I didn’t want to be aware… Continue reading Surgical management of miscarriage
By the time I got pregnant for the third time, my feelings about conceiving had completely changed. Gone was the instant joy, replaced instead with a confusion of emotions, muted relief that I’d managed to get pregnant and fear that something would go wrong. Gone was the assumption of a carefree pregnancy, replaced instead with… Continue reading Third pregnancy, third miscarriage: back to square one
Trying to conceive the first time Our first pregnancy happened after 3 months of trying. Three months which seemed endless at the time, but were actually blissfully short now I look back with the benefit of hindsight. At that early stage of trying to conceive, I was waiting, full of anticipation and expectation, to see… Continue reading Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss
‘What did I do wrong?’ must be one of the most common questions a woman asks herself when she finds out she’s having a miscarriage. And, of course, the answer is usually ‘nothing’. It’s just not easy to accept when you’re convinced it’s your fault. I remember when I had my first missed miscarriage (when… Continue reading The blame game
Miscarriage can be the darkest of places. Initially, you may have to work your way through the hall of horrors when you find out your pregnancy has failed. Fear, adrenaline and a desire to get as far away as possible take over. You might make a temporary stop at the parlour of pain when your body… Continue reading Miscarriage: the importance (and beauty) of female support
2017 was, without doubt, the best year of my life. I was 38 years old and feeling that my life-proper was about to begin. I was overjoyed to marry the man who brightens my life every day. We moved into the first house we had chosen together (rented for now, but nonetheless...ours). Our families came… Continue reading In the blink of an eye…