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Miscarriage

Surgical management of miscarriage

After learning our third pregnancy had failed and our already beloved baby had died at 9 weeks gestation, me and my husband had opted for surgical management of the miscarriage.  After a natural first miscarriage and the second, an extended loss of a pregnancy of unknown location, this time I didn’t want to be aware… Continue reading Surgical management of miscarriage

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Waiting, waiting, waiting: accessing mental health services after miscarriage

Given that I’ve just started psychotherapy, 15 months after my first miscarriage, I thought now would be a good time to talk about accessing mental health support via the NHS in England.  Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of fantastic things about the National Health Service, the fact that it’s free, for one. Its… Continue reading Waiting, waiting, waiting: accessing mental health services after miscarriage

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Third pregnancy, third miscarriage: back to square one

By the time I got pregnant for the third time, my feelings about conceiving had completely changed.  Gone was the instant joy, replaced instead with a confusion of emotions, muted relief that I’d managed to get pregnant and fear that something would go wrong. Gone was the assumption of a carefree pregnancy, replaced instead with… Continue reading Third pregnancy, third miscarriage: back to square one

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss

Trying to conceive the first time Our first pregnancy happened after 3 months of trying. Three months which seemed endless at the time, but were actually blissfully short now I look back with the benefit of hindsight.  At that early stage of trying to conceive, I was waiting, full of anticipation and expectation, to see… Continue reading Beacon of Hope: trying again after loss

Pregnancy

Slave to the cycle

Trying to conceive. Sounds so innocuous, doesn’t it, when you say it quickly? But when you’re living it month after month, it has a tendency to take over your life. And not in a good way.  My cycle follows an exact pattern every month:  Cycle Day 1 (CD1) My period starts: cue disappointment, tears and… Continue reading Slave to the cycle

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

“I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

After our first miscarriage, nobody suggested that we stop trying for a baby. After our second, people encouraged us to keep going - after all, you can only have so much bad luck. Now we’ve had a third, I have noticed a subtle but very definite shift in people’s attitudes.  “Maybe you should wait for… Continue reading “I can’t do this anymore” Knowing when to stop trying

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

My second miscarriage was completely different to my first and third for a number of reasons, not least because nobody knew where the pregnancy actually was. Pregnancy of unknown location (PUL) is a term used to describe pregnancies when hcg levels are raised but an ultrasound scan doesn’t show anything in your uterus or Fallopian… Continue reading Pregnant…but where? A pregnancy of unknown location

Miscarriage

The blame game

‘What did I do wrong?’ must be one of the most common questions a woman asks herself when she finds out she’s having a miscarriage. And, of course, the answer is usually ‘nothing’. It’s just not easy to accept when you’re convinced it’s your fault.  I remember when I had my first missed miscarriage (when… Continue reading The blame game

Miscarriage

Miscarriage: the importance (and beauty) of female support

Miscarriage can be the darkest of places.  Initially, you may have to work your way through the hall of horrors when you find out your pregnancy has failed. Fear, adrenaline and a desire to get as far away as possible take over. You might make a temporary stop at the parlour of pain when your body… Continue reading Miscarriage: the importance (and beauty) of female support

Miscarriage

Miscarriage…naturally

On Monday 25 June 2018, a date that will be forever etched in my brain, me and my husband returned home with heavy hearts, after learning our already much-loved baby was no longer alive.  We’d had an ultrasound scan that day, as I’d had some brown spotting and minor cramping the day before. We’d both… Continue reading Miscarriage…naturally